A Daily Decision: Beyond Political Statements

Originally published in the 2017 HijabFest Magazine

Nowadays, it seems that my “Muslim-ness” is just another slice in my minority pie chart. I am a woman. I am a Muslim woman. I am an immigrant Muslim woman -- all that I appear as in the eyes of secular politics. Nothing more, nothing less. Similar to how my being is reduced to my political status, the most visible marker of my faith, my hijab, is also reduced to a political statement and stripped of its inner content.

Yet, wearing the hijab to make a political statement, or to broadcast some sort of identity defies how I can perceive the wisdom in the hijab and connect with my Creator. Seeking empowerment in my own victimization goes against who I am. Yet both acts are prevalent and embraced in the current socio-political climate despite their detrimental attitude and misunderstanding of the essence of the hijab.

The language presented for consumption through different media outlets feeds further into misplaced ideas of how the hijab ought to be treated by Muslim women. For example, in USA Today, Waseem Abbasi writes, “But like many young Muslim women across the U.S., the very independence that drove her to cast off the traditional head covering has since drawn her to don one.”

Just in one sentence, with words like  “independence” “cast off” and “traditional”, the author has implied that in America (the land of the free), the independent and valorous Muslim women (as opposed to the oppressed and choiceless outside of the western world)  have made the decision to cast off (to discard, abandon, or reject [usually something unwanted]) the traditional (common, taken-for-granted, and ancestral) garment from their heads. But not to worry! They can also decide to wear it! Just as freely!

Contemporary understandings and interpretations of the hijab and the practice of wearing it have failed Muslim women, for decades, maybe centuries at this point. It was first made into a custom, a cultural head-covering (thus “traditional”). My mother wore it and so did my grandmother and great-grandmother and so will I, because it’s just what we do. Then the hijab was brought into the political sphere and was transformed further from its prior, unlabeled practice. It became a symbol of political oppression, and then in response, a sign of resistance, and now simply a covering women wear to react or to comply.

However, we must reflect on the original command; it doesn’t come from the shah or the president, or the dictator in power. It comes from my Maker. It comes from the Creator of every cell in my body and every planet in the universe and every thought that has crossed my mind and every star that has sped past the earth. It comes from my Lord, the Creator, Commander, and Administrator of everything in this universe, in every dimension, in every space, in every time period.

Any human force (be it a dictator or a democratic government) is essentially inconsequential in determining my reasons to wear the hijab or not. It does not matter if it is banned or if it is made mandatory because, ultimately, my duty is to obey my Maker and fulfill a duty towards Him before bowing my head or showing off to anybody else. My duty, as a believer, is to read the verse, and ask, how does this verse, that was revealed 1400 years ago, relate to me, here and now?

If I claim to believe in the Maker of this universe, and in His Messenger, and in His Book, and if I believe that my Maker is infinitely wise and all-knowing, and if I believe that His book transcends the constraints of time and space and was a guide to the believers in Medina hundreds of years ago as much as it is a guide to me, now, then, how does this verse fit into my life? What is it teaching me? What is my Creator telling me? Why has He made this book the miracle of the Messenger, and preserved it through a millennium of time for it to reach me and for me to read this verse and connect with Him?

The spiritual value of the hijab cannot be depreciated into something as simple and subjective as a political statement. I make political statements through tweets and t-shirts and offhanded comments in late-night conversations. That cannot be the purpose of a physical embodiment of the guidance given to me by my Creator.

Many political tides have come and gone with the established presence of Muslim women. The believing women have worn their scarves all through those times.Yet, the reason the hijab has stayed is not because of changing cultural and political movements, it is because the command comes from the Source of my existence. I do not wake up in the morning and think to myself, how will I oppose the establishments that are against me today? It is not related to my existential purpose in the world. My responsibility, as a created being, is to read the book of the universe and try to know and understand its Author.

I am here for a limited number of years, and I am not interested in jeopardizing my eternity for the sake of politics in this transient world. I do not wear the hijab so that it shouts out at people, like a neon sign on my head saying, “Look here! I am a Muslim! Despite you and your oppressive policies!” and I do not wear it so that my great-aunt twice removed will not tsk at me when I go to visit her house and kiss her hands.

Can other people think that those are my reasons? Sure. But I do not have agency over what other people think, so it doesn’t matter. That is on their account with their Maker, and my intentions are on mine. And “Verily actions are by intentions.”

On a final note, to equate my entire “identity” to one physically visible material is nothing but reductionist. Beards and hijabs do not make people believers. Identities are not stagnant – I did not become a believer at a certain point in my past and now I just remain as one -- lifetime guarantee. Being a believer, for me, means that I need to continually affirm my own convictions, about my own Maker, about my Maker’s commands and expectations, and about how I can get closer to Him and know and love Him more. Just because I made a declaration ten years ago and now call myself a “Muslim” does not make me a “Muslim.” Especially if I do not carry out what it means to be someone who is in the act of submitting to her Creator all her life.

Sociopolitical symbolism that is attached to the mainstream understanding and interpretation of the hijab is a byproduct of contemporary events and cultures. It can not define the hijab’s purpose or existence. Nor can it become a reason in my choosing to wear the hijab. I choose, every day, to wear it and have it be meaningful for me in my connection to my Creator. Every day is a renewal of obedience to my Maker, and a constant reminder to reaffirm my own convictions about God and His commands.

2017 HijabFest Cover

Socrates and Me(no)

Ever since my social studies teacher in middle school (shout-out to Ms. Bergeron) taught me that while I took notes for class, I could have a “notes to myself” section as well – I have been using it as a technique to gather snippets of inspiration, questions, and general other musings in my journals. (My N2S headings are where half my blog ideas come from, so again, thank you Ms. Bergeron).

This quarter, I took a class called Ancient Philosophy and I have a lot of margin notes that are highlighted and circled over and over again so that I don’t forget to write about them. In this post, I want to talk about the Meno (read here) – a Socratic dialogue that tries to answer what virtue is and how it can be acquired.

Now, you might think – we get it… you are a philosophy major.  But, please bear through my pretension for a few minutes, because I want to make the case for you today, that everyone, every single person, who claims to believe in anything or has any sort of conviction, should read the Meno. Meno and most other short Socratic dialogues are pretty accessible (not accessible like, you can find them in the public domain (which you can) but accessible like, easy to understand – unlike most philosophical writings today.)

Anyway – you should read the Meno, and here’s why:

In the dialogue, while Socrates and Meno try to hash out what kind of a thing virtue is, they end up with two contradictory conclusions (not surprising in a Socratic dialogue). One argument says virtue is knowledge, and the other argument says virtue is not knowledge. Our focus here is not on virtue, but rather knowledge.

Now, we seem to be in a quandary. Socrates and Meno return to their original question of how one acquires virtue. Is it through experience or is it something that can be taught? If virtue is teachable, then it must be a kind of knowledge, but there are no apparent teachers of it – so the problem keeps growing.   

Socrates and Meno realize that perhaps people don’t need knowledge to act virtuously (or to act well). If one has knowledge, one can act well – but if one has true opinion, one can act just as well.

At the end of the day, if you are at a fork in the road, both true opinion and knowledge would be able to guide you in the right direction. BUT Socrates tells Meno that knowledge is obviously preferable to true opinion. At this point, we need to ask why? If both true opinion and knowledge can guide you to do the right thing in a situation, then why would one be preferable to the other?

Socrates explains by way of analogy. Let’s say you own a very nice house with a beautiful garden out front. And there is a majestic statue in the middle of it. True opinion is having the statue there by itself, and knowledge is having that statue tied down.

The problem isn’t that if you have the statue without a stake in the ground it’s more susceptible to disappearing (as if it will come to life and run away, or be stolen in the dead of night). It isn’t that with knowledge, you always succeed in acting well whereas with true opinion, you succeed only sometimes.

You could have the statue and it could stay there your whole life. You could always have true opinion. You could always know what to do to act well. It doesn’t seem all that important to have knowledge instead of true opinion. You still always do the right and virtuous thing! Yet Socrates insists, but if permanence isn’t the issue… then what is?

What is the difference between the statue that’s tied down, and the statue that’s always going to be there?

The answer is ownership. What matters isn’t that the statue stays in your garden, it’s that the statue is yours!

We are all living the same reality. The thoughts we have, they aren’t always ours. Sometimes, our morals (those true opinions) are shaped outside of us, they don’t really belong to us.

And sometimes, we can even lead other people with those borrowed thoughts. And we are virtuous as far as we are useful in guiding those people. But those thoughts don’t benefit us.

To have thoughts of our own, that’s hard work. But it’s the only way they are valuable.

So what’s the point? Why does it matter for everyone to read the Meno? Tie this back to the thesis Nur Banu! (this is a preemptive pun, so appreciate it in advance)

My original margin note is that this is the difference between faith by imitation, and faith by verification. We usually believe things because our parents, friends, or communities believe those things. And those things can be good but they aren’t ours until we question and inquire and prod and poke on our own to affirm or reject them.

The Meno is a must-read for everyone who claims to believe in something, because it makes you question whether your statues are simply in the garden, or tied to the ground.

PS: A serendipitous finding here is that the word for ‘creed’ in Arabic is aqeedah – and it is used to refer to the fundamentals of belief. Linguistically, ‘aqeedah’ comes from the root A-K-D which means to “tie down, fasten.” Isn’t that amazing? We are tying down our beliefs by making sure they are our own, and making sure that we are certain of them. 

Lots of balloons, 

Belle

Post-election God Consciousness

This morning, on November 9th, after I had woken up, eaten a hearty breakfast, processed the election result from the previous night, gone to my computer science class (and listened to the teacher, who’s been teaching for 12 years, deliver a short and emotional speech on treasuring the differences in his class, and valuing the various perspectives we bring), left my class, trekked to a nearby cafe on campus, and was in line waiting to buy a cup of chamomile tea, my phone vibrated with a text from a friend, “Can I ask you something?”

I told her, of course! Go for it. So she asked, “How can you still have faith? How can you believe in goodness in people and the universe and a god if this happened? I can't pray I just feel empty.”

She was referring to the election. To the man we have elected as our leader for the four next years. To the man who overtly hates on practically every marginalized community in this country. To the man who has promised to enact disgusting and dangerous policies that would target Muslims, punish Muslims, surveil Muslims etc.

I am a Muslim. Political identity, cultural connotations, spirituality, hijab, ritual and all. I am a 19-year-old college student, who tries to actively identify as a Muslim. Who looks visibly Muslim. Who tries to be the best Muslim she can be.

And part of that is feeling at peace with this result. With what has happened. Submitting to God, and God’s will. “Muslim” is, literally, someone who reaches peace through submission to God. When I read the result last night, I told myself, “Indeed my Lord is with me. He will guide me through.” And I know that might not be a common or intuitive response to what happened. A lot of us want to grieve or be angry, a lot of us feel scared and threatened. And that’s all valid. But I think before we turn to despair, we should turn to God.

That’s why I told my friend that for me, faith is something that’s so much bigger than any politics or any problems. Because God is greater than all of those. God is so absolute – nothing in existence can happen without His permission. Have we wrapped our minds around that? Nothing happens without God’s continuous involvement in it.

From the smallest thing to the biggest. From a tiny ant that’s part of a huge colony, who’s carrying a tiny crumb back home in the dark of the night under a rock, to entire galaxies, to black holes, to stars, to supernovae, to asteroids, to entire concepts of existence like “time” and “space.”

All of those things exist with relation to each other. They are all interconnected. The universe has to be a certain way for an apple to grow. Not just the sun, the air, the nutrients in the soil, but also in macro and micro universes – everything has to happen according to some order. Just to produce a simple apple. The germination of the seed, the replication of the DNA, the inner workings of a flower that becomes a fruit. AND also the inhabitability of the Earth, our distance from the Sun. The atmosphere, the element percentages of the air. They all have to be the way they are now for us to have apples. And we have had apples for millennia. We have had life, we have had order, we have had “laws” for billions of years. And they all continue to exist.

I continue to be able to write this post. Gravity remains as it always has. We are still in orbit. The weather is perfect. My brain and my hands and my body are all working in tandem. Every instant. Every synapse – fired in a fraction of a millisecond. It keeps happening, and it keeps happening perfectly.

How can I look at all of that, and not believe? For the Creator of one apple must be the Creator of the entire universe, of all that exists, to make that apple exist. And if I believe in such an absolute being, what is Donald Trump gonna do to me? What is a person? What is, even millions of people? Who might be threatening me. Who might hate me. What power do they have when they can’t even make a simple thing. When they can’t create anything. When they have no power over anything. When people are so weak, so powerless, that they fall sick to microbes they can’t see, and are so affected by everything around them. When they can’t control even themselves sometimes.

No matter how powerful Trump might look, he’s nothing. He’s powerless. He might have an immense amount of money and he might have hundreds of millions of supporters. But at the end of the day, is he in charge of rising the Sun every morning? Can he make anything from nothing? Can he control anything that’s not superficial – that doesn’t give him only the illusion of power? He says it himself, he is prey to his own feelings. He can’t even control how he reacts to some things. Disgustingly so. Why should I be afraid of someone like that? When the God of the entire universe has my back?

And so, that’s why I still have faith. And as much as there are people who hate me, there are as many, if not more, people who love me. And everything happens for a reason even if I can’t pinpoint it at the moment it happens. I am small and weak. I can’t see or know of anything except the present. I can’t look at the universe except in linear time and space. But God transcends the bounds and limits of Creation. And God is all knowing. And that gives me security. He knows what will happen. And He never tests me with anything I can’t handle. And God loves me. God loves me so much. God loves me so much that He created me and keeps creating me every instant of my existence, He feeds me, He surrounds me with people I love, He puts His love in my heart. And really, that’s all I need.